We’re 4!!

Hi everyone! CJ and I celebrated our 4th anniversary recently, and I naturally, being the self-reflecting, inquisitive mind that I am, spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship and how we got to where we are today. Being in a relationship with CJ has been one of the most fun, meaningful and eye-opening things that I have experienced in my life. Relationships aren’t perfect, and I’d be lying if I said ours was, but honestly… I really feel like I have the perfect relationship with him.

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First and foremost, I think our relationship is so great mainly because of who we are as individuals. We are both confident in ourselves. Which translates to so much when being in a relationship (at least to me). Coming into a relationship being sure of yourself, knowing who you are, knowing what you deserve and knowing that you are a whole person, not a half waiting to be completed by someone else, enables you to love deeply and fully because you don’t need that other person’s love to survive. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s like I love myself SOOOO much, and even if CJ happened to stop loving me, I’ll be okay because I love me. The fact that we both understand that about ourselves makes our love so much more meaningful because we know that we are choosing each other every day. We don’t need each other, but we keep fighting for and loving each other because we can and because we want to. We hold each other to high standards, because we know that is what we both deserve. Being confident in ourselves also means being able to drop any walls we hide behind, and we can be completely open and vulnerable with each other without the fear of judgement or criticism. This paragraph is basically just the long way of saying “If you can’t love yoself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” (can I get an AMEN).

Can I also just say this is the reason why you will NEVER catch us fighting about stupid, immature shit ie: liking another girl/guy’s IG picture. I could go onnnnnn about this topic, but if you’re getting mad at your s/o for liking pictures on social media, that’s not on them, that’s a you problem… Love yourself lol. *end rant*


I think another “secret” to our strong relationship is open and honest communication. CJ and I have the same values and views of the world, but we have VERY different personalities, which naturally leads to some arguments/disagreements. Regardless, I can talk to CJ about anything, no matter how silly, difficult or uncomfortable it might be, and I know that he always listens with open ears. We aren’t mind readers, and the only way for you to be happy is to voice your concerns or compliments to your s/o. Even when we disagree on certain things, we both still feel heard, and are (at the very least) aware of how the other person feels. At the end of the day, we’re a team and we’ve both learned that it’s in our best interest to just listen to each other and try our best to understand. It’s gotten us this far, so I have to conclude that really talking and listening to each other just works.


And to be honest, I think one of my absolute favourite aspects of our relationship is that we genuinely just have so much fun together. I really could not imagine dating someone who isn’t funny (not that I will ever get the chance to because CJV + BMB 4EVER), and CJ makes me laugh every. damn. day. Sharing the same sense of humour and laughing together is my favourite thing ever, and it’s one of the things that initially had me attracted to him four years ago LOL. We could laugh for 10 minutes straight over memes, or the fact that we keep building upon a joke and don’t know when to stop. I love the feeling of us just being in our own world, laughing about our stupid insiders and cracking jokes with each other, no matter the time or place. We really be the crackheads of every group we’re in.


Anyways, I don’t want to sound too preachy because this isn’t meant to be one of those “x # of ways to have the perfect relationship!!!” type of posts. I’ve never really been the type of person who publicizes every part of my relationship, and for the most part, I feel like CJ and I are pretty lowkey. But I just really wanted to write this because I want to give a big shoutout to CJ – my homieloverfriend. My person. He constantly challenges me in every way possible, and always celebrates my wins. He listens to me whine about life, but will quickly bring me back down to earth and call me on my bullshit. He cracks me up like no one else, he lets me be my weird self, he never fails to let me know that I’m loved and appreciated. Y’all, when I tell you this list can go on and onnnnnn… He just gets me. Thank you babe for building this beautiful relationship with me, growing along side me and letting me into your life, allowing me to see a side of you that no one gets to see. I cherish all the countless laughs, insiders, arguments, bad remixes, and memories we have made. Through the ups and the rare downs, there is no one I would rather be on this crazy journey of life with. I love you so much!


If you don’t already, be sure to follow my mans on Instagram and Mixcloud (it’s been a minute since he made his last mix, but maybe an influx of followers will motivate him even more to get back in his grind). I hope you all get to give and receive the kind of love I have for CJ. I swear, it’s life changing and really makes you a better person.

💖, B

2019 So Far…

Hello!! Remember me? I have been up to so much these past couple of months and my blog has definitely been taking a back seat (tbh my blog isn’t even in the same vehicle as me at this point..), but for the first time, I don’t feel bad about it! I’ve been doing a lot of growing and learning and I’ve been feeling so full, yet still so hungry to do more. Without further ado, here is a little run down of my year thus far:


I turned 24 and I got to celebrate it with my closest friends and family. I also got my nose pierced as a birthday gift to myself, which to me, symbolizes so much more than having a piece of jewelry on my face (if you know how much my mom disapproves of piercings, you would understand too LOL). In order to step out of my comfort zone, I applied to be a social media volunteer for a women’s conference. To overcome some fears, I got my first Brazilian and it hurt like a bitch, but hey, at least I proved to myself that I could do it. We celebrate ALL victories here, regardless of how small they seem. (PS I got sugared! If anyone is interested in my experience, I’ll definitely write about it because I am super happy with the results). I wanted to make more money and become more financially literate, so I got a part-time job as a tutor, which is great experience working 1-on-1 with someone. And the universe must have been on my side because I also got a promotion at my full-time job, which means more hours and more pay. Ask (and work hard), and you shall receive! I had a big wake-up call when my dad had a stroke in November and I realized that health really is wealth. So I started slowly going back to the gym, and doing HIIT workouts at home on the days when I felt lazy to go out. A bish also finally got around to getting a physical! Is that TMI? Idk, some people don’t go to the doctor, myself included, but going to the doctor once a year is really not that bad (and also v important!)



A blah month, mainly because of the cold weather. Like I feel like every day this month was -25 or lower, but it was a great month for quality time. Spent a lot of time hanging out with my girls, and my man. Started a wine night tradition with my dad. I tried macrame with my aunt, and I’ve come to the realization that I am really good with crafts/activities that involve string and repetitive movements. Probably because I can get into flow so easily. Also really good at critical thinking and knowledge games. Worked and worked out some more.



I went to my first rave, just to say I’ve gone to one. I had a lot of fun (granted, it was for an artist I actually like and listen to which definitely helps LOL), and I think everyone should go to a rave at least once in their life. You can’t knock it til you try it 😉 The women’s conference was this month, and it was a life changing experience. I’m not gonna lie, the night before, I was trying to talk myself out of going because I didn’t know anyone, and I felt so scared. But like I said, I’m trying to train myself to walk in the direction my fear leads me in… Being surrounded by a bunch of like-minded individuals was amazing, and the energy from everyone was infectious. I learned so much from each workshop, and I felt like I proved so much to myself. As someone who felt like she could never do things on her own, and who got anxiety attacks from starting conversations with strangers this was a big thing for me. I also finally got a car! After driving a minivan for months, it was about damn time. I’m so proud of it, I bought it in cash and it’s got everything I need to get me from point A to point B in comfort and style… somewhat. Also we celebrated my sister’s birthday for like two weeks, which was very fun and also made me realize how much closer I’ve gotten with my siblings as we’ve gotten older. My first best friends forever and ever.


I feel like I hit a wall this month. I have no one to blame, I’ve just been feeling super lazy and uninspired. Life ain’t all rainbows and butterflies and cliché quotes. Also, this month felt like it went by super fast. Started (and finished) GoT. Bought tickets for a Japan trip with my girls and I’m SO excited!!! My friends are having a BABY!! A little boy!! Went on a relaxing trip with my friends (relaxing is an understatement, because we really did nothing at all, but it was just fun to be all together 🙂 )

Aaaaand that pretty much catches you up with everything I’ve been up to. I’m not going to lie, lately I’ve been getting those feelings where it’s like “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!!! WHAT IS MY PURPOSE!!”. I’m trying to not be so hard on myself, but at the same time, I need to be realistic. I’m not going to find my life’s meaning by whining about how I haven’t found it yet, and by living my life exactly as I have the past 24 years. But while it’s been a rollercoaster of a year, I’m happy to report that it’s mostly been all good. I just want to give a shoutout to my support system. Y’all make this life worth living, and I have been extremely blessed to have been able to spend so much quality time with the people who mean the absolute most to me.

I also wanted to share my favourite IG accounts at the moment, for anyone who wants some inspiration for your own blogs or feeds. I’ve been using these accounts like free, valuable resources, and I think a lot of you would also benefit from following them as well!

  • @thegreylayers – my favourite IGer. I love her style and she is just a big inspiration. Always makes me feel like I can do anything (which is true, I can), and I love that she is so interactive with her audience, despite her large follower count
  • @thecontentplanner – I plan on using her free resources to help me pick back up with my blog, and I want to order a content planner of my own (but I’m going to wait until the 2020 one comes out in October)
  • @theaceclass_ – the organizers of the women’s conference I volunteered at. Again, great resources for people and their events are an awesome way to meet local women.
  • @vanessalau.co – she’s my age, and is a successful life coach and mentor (we’re talking six figures here people!!). I admire her drive and all the valuable content she puts out. Regardless of whether or not you are trying to make a name for yourself in this digital space, I think anyone can learn a thing or two from her.

And that’s it. Usually I’d write a big spiel here but I feel like I’ve been typing for forever, so I’m just going to say bye LOL and see you next time.

💖, B


“Tell me about yourself.”

For some reason I have always dreaded being asked this question. Which is stupid, because it’s the one question that every person should have the answer to. 24 years on this earth, and all that ever seems to leave my mouth is “Ummmm, well…. My name is Brittney.”

Who am I? Beyond other people’s ideas of who I am…  Beyond the person I show to others… Who am I? I feel like I have hidden behind labels or roles, using them to define who I am (“I am a student”, “I am a woman”, “I’m a Canadian citizen” etc.), maybe to avoid the fact that I haven’t quite figured it out yet. Although, I realize it is silly of me to expect myself to be able to sum up who I am in one sentence.

Anyways, I’ve realized that I really need to take time to discover who I am, and what makes me, me. I’ve always hated making New Years Resolutions, and I always rolled my eyes when people say things like “I hope this year is good to me”, because I know that the deciding factor to whether or not you follow through with your resolutions, or the cause of having a good year is yourself. BUT. I really want to use this year to dive deeper into myself, and find out who I want to be, and become the person I want to become.

One thing I would really like to explore is my Filipino heritage, and learning more about the Philippines, and it’s history. I was born and raised in Canada, English is my first language and I don’t understand much Tagalog. I’m as whitewashed as they come. Most of what I know from the Philippines was passed down from my mom, and even then, most of her stories are about struggle and hardships, and are tainted with bias because of the fact that she doesn’t ever want to go back (DISCLAIMER: I’m not trying to drag my mom, and I don’t mean to take away from her experiences. I know that’s all the memories she has of the Philippines, but she did spend her teen years and the rest of her adult life here, so I never got to learn much about the beauty of the country or the culture from her). I would really like to learn more about the Philippines, and understand my roots better.

And mostly, I just want to learn more about myself. By doing what feels right, acting in the pursuit of self-interest, and being as fearlessly me as possible. A quote that has been resonating through my mind as of late is “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” I’m going to be unapologetically myself, because it’s what I owe to myself, and I don’t need to ask for permission, or think about others in the process (K, that sounds really intense. Like I’m not trying to be a selfish bitch, but I’m just trying to get at the point that I’m going to stop looking to others for approval or permission to do what I want to do.) (Life is too short to not do what you want to do. Basically.)

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and although this blog is called ALittleBrittOfEverything, I’ve realized that my own self-development and discovery has become way more interesting, fun and easier to write about than MOTD and Review posts. Not to say that I’m going to stop writing about these things, because I’m not, but you will be seeing a lot more personal posts. I’m growing and changing as a person, and my interests reflect that. I really want this to become a tool used for documenting my journey and statistically speaking, my readers are way more interested in personal posts than in beauty related posts. (AKA I see that y’all are nosy, but I’m not judging because I’m putting this all out there, and I’m like that myself 😉 LOL). Even if only one person takes something away from what I write, that’s enough gratification for me.

I want to take this time to thank you all for sticking with me throughout my blogging journey. I genuinely get so flustered when you compliment my posts, or ask about how I’m doing, or just talk about my blog in general. It lets me know that I’m on the right track, and that I will always have people supporting something that I love doing, and that sparks joy in my life (where my fellow KonMari fans at?!) I’ve come far from where I was when I started, and I still have so long to go. Happy New Year everyone!

I’m going to leave this selfie here because why the heck not.


💖, B

P.S. And for those who still care, Vlogmas Week 4 will be up!!! I don’t know when, but it will!!! mark my words!!!

Goodbye, 2018! | My 1SE

Wow. Another year has passed. As I reflect on everything that has happened in 2018, the one word I could use to sum it all up is grateful. I’ve learned so much about myself, and I am so proud of all the things I’ve accomplished this year. I really tried to push myself out of my comfort zone, and challenged myself to be accountable to myself. I felt like I went through a big identity crisis (lowkey still in the middle of it, but I’m handling things better now), but I know that I’m getting closer and closer to the person that I want to become.

This year really showed me just how amazing the people in my life are. I have been so blessed to have met amazing friends, create new bonds, and strengthen current relationships. We have made countless memories in this year alone!

I hope everyone had a blessed 2018, and if you didn’t, just know that you are in control of your life, and you have the power to turn it all around (I genuinely feel like I’m a living testament of this). I’m grateful to have made it into 2019, and I’m thankful for all you for supporting me.


(ALSO I still have to finish editing Vlogmas Week 3, but I promise it’s coming! I also shot a bonus vlog for funzies that you can all look forward to!)

💖, B

Vlogmas 2018 | Week 3

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope every one got to spend lots of time with loved ones. I know my Christmas spirit hasn’t been at an all time high this year, but once I got to do all my secret santa exchanges, and spend time with my friends and family, I started to feel it LOL (and you will see all that fun stuff in next week’s vlog).

Vlogmas 2018 | Week 2

Hey everyone! After a few more technical difficulties, I finally got week 2 of Vlogmas up. It’s a Christmas miracle! Watch the video below to catch up on what I’ve been up to this past week 🙂


Today’s vlog features some products from the Covergirl Exhibitionist line that Influenster and Covergirl sent me for free! I’ve been loving using these products, because, for me, this is all the makeup that I need to put on my face and be ready to head out the door. I talk about them in depth in the vlog, but here’s a quick rundown of all the products and my thoughts about them at a glance:

Covergirl Exhibitionist Mascara:

  • Loving how it lengthens and separates my lashes
  • Gives me decent volume
  • My only problem is that this mascara isn’t waterproof, which is the number one thing I look for in a mascara (to clarify: the mascara does come in a waterproof formula, I was just sent the one that isn’t waterproof)

Covergirl Get In Line liquid eyeliner:

  • SUPER fine tip – creating a sharp wing is super easy and achievable
  • I love that it dries down matte. Definitely a look.
  • Again, this eyeliner isn’t waterproof, so some of the product does fade off by the end of the day (especially near the corner of my eye)

Covergirl Exhibitionist Cream Lipstick – Coffee Crave

  • The perfect “your lips but better” shade for me
  • Comfortable wear all day, some touching up required (depending on how much you eat, drink or talk throughout the day LOL)


If you try out any of these products, let me know! I would love to know how you liked (or didn’t like) them 🙂


Vlogmas 2018 | Week 1

SHE BAAACK!! I’m finally back to doing Vlogmas, and I forgot how fun it is! Hope December has been treating you all well. I’m equal parts stressed and excited. Anyways, there really isn’t much else to say, so if you want to watch the first week of Vlogmas, you can watch it below 🙂

💖, B

5 Local Bloggers / IG Accounts You Need To Follow!

As someone who is constantly on the lookout for new and interesting content, I have always found blogger / Instagram round ups super helpful. As a blogger myself, I love that round ups make finding other like-minded people super easy and accessible because of the fact that a bunch of profiles are curated together in one post. I decided to put together my own roundup of my 5 favourite local bloggers and Instagram profiles that I have stumbled across over the past couple of months. I’m guilty of creeping every person on this list, so if you’re looking for new people to follow, look no further! (And even if you aren’t from Calgary, I still think all of these ladies are worth checking out!)


Chelsea Tan – IG: @chelseadaily.co / BLOG: chelseadaily.co

I found Chelsea’s Instagram profile through hashtags (seriously, they’re the one place I would recommend looking through, especially if you’re looking for local people to follow), and I’m really glad I did! It’s also how I discovered her blog. I really love her blog because she writes about her adventures around Calgary, which makes me want to go out and explore. I also love how she keeps it real and isn’t afraid to talk about more personal things, such as her mental health. I feel like I can relate to her in a lot of ways (My favourite blog post of hers is this one, where she talks about her university experience. I relate to this so hard, and I feel like a lot of my followers might too!), and I admire her realness and transparency. It’s something I think social media (and the world in general) could use more of.

Ally Rasmussen – IG @ally.raz

My local girl crush, in every sense possible!! First of all, Ally’s feed is goals. I love how clean she makes everything look. So aesthetically pleasing! I love her sense of style, and I get so much outfit inspiration from her. She also recently went blonde, so make sure to go and comment on her pictures and tell her how much of a babe she is!!! Ally is more than a pretty face and feed though. She also does tarot card readings, with more information all conveniently located on her IG profile!

Karleen Valencia – IG: @karleensamson / WEBSITE: karleen.ca

Okay, so I don’t know if this is biased because she’s my boyfriend’s cousin (also it feels weird to just type Karleen because ya girl is a respectful Filipina ok), but Ate Karleen is just goals in general. If you’ve read my blog post about representation, I talked about how I never really had any Asian role models that looked like me. But ever since CJ and I started dating, and I timidly introduced myself to her, Ate Karleen has become one of the strong (literally), female, asian role models in my life. She honestly drips in confidence, is effortlessly cool, she’s super involved in the community, and is an all-around powerful human being.  I love the way she takes and edits her photos, and I admire how she is just always herself. Ya girl is already working towards getting on her frequency.

Dezleigh Teodosio – IG: @dezleighh / BLOG: dezleighh.com

I have actually been following Dezleigh for a while now. She was kind of the first local “influencer” I found out about. As ignorant as this sounds, back before I started learning about blogging and making money through social media, I always just assumed people who have large followings and who work with brands couldn’t be from a place like Calgary. But Dezleigh has proven me wrong (obviously). Since I started following her, she has grown her audience considerably and has gotten to work with numerous brands, which is well-deserved because you can tell she works hard and deserves every opportunity that comes her way! Her blog is more than just your typical lifestyle blog. I love her outlook on things, and that she talks about more than just beauty and outfits. Dezleigh talks about a lot of personal life experiences, and she is continuously learning and growing. You can feel her bubbly personality through her posts, and is definitely someone who is worth a follow!

Shaleza – IG: @shaleza.yyc

I found Shaleza’s IG account on my Explore page. The one thing that really made me interested in her profile, and made me want to follow her right then and there were her flatlays! She composes them so well, and her flatlays never look too “staged”. Since I’m such a sucker, it makes me want to go out and buy all her favourite products. On her page, you’ll find lots of beauty and makeup related photos, outfit inspo, some quotes to get you through the day (which I personally love and think are so cute!), and nailfies! And if you know me, you know I admire a fresh set of nails, whether on me or someone else! Shaleza is totally relatable and her IG feed, to me, is one big mood board.

And there you have it! Please give all these lovely ladies a follow, I’m sure you won’t regret it. If you have any other bloggers or Instagrammers that you think I should check out, don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments! And they don’t even have to be from Calgary, I love anyone with a pretty feed!

💖, B

Go Best Friend, That’s My Best Friend!!

November 4, 2003.


I walk into my fourth grade classroom and the first thing I notice is a big office desk placed behind all the other standard sized desks. My homeroom teacher isn’t in class yet. Everyone is talking abut how there must be a new student coming to class. I got excited. I, myself, was new to this school this year, so it would be cool and also comforting to not be the “new girl”. Sure enough, my teacher walks in with a girl following behind her. I get even more excited because my school is a predominantly white school, and the girl walking behind my teacher was asian, like me. She was around my height, also wore glasses and looked like someone I could be friends with. My teacher introduces her to the class as Chrissandra, and Chrissandra then takes a seat at the big desk at the back of the room.

Fast forward to lunch. Chrissandra is sitting with a girl that our teacher assigned to be her unofficial guide to our school. My friend and I are sitting together eating our lunch and I kept staring at Chrissandra, with one burning question on my mind. Apparently in my 8 year old mind, I really needed to know the answer to this question, so I went up to her and asked “Are you chinese?” … And that was pretty much the start of our best friendship (BTW, she’s Filipina).

15 years.


That’s a long ass time. I’ve known Sandra for 65% of my life! Crazy. She’s been in my life longer than she has been out of it. I have been through it all with this girl. Ups and downs, phases, tears, laughs, first jobs, first cars, breakups, makeups, graduations … just growing up in general. And our insiders? Oh my gooodnesssss, all the insiders. (BLUE BUNNY!) Not only is this the longest friendship I have (and will ever have), it really is one of the truest. After experiencing so much with her, I can confidently say she is like a soul mate to me.


I have had the privilege of watching her become the person she is today. She has always been someone I look up to because of her confidence, her independence, her resilience, her toughness and her silliness. In 15 years, we have both changed but in a lot of ways we are still the same. We don’t talk every single day, but we always manage to pick up where we left off. I’m so thankful to have someone who is always so supportive of me, who always cheers me on and isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. Also let’s be real, it feels great when we’re together and it feels like we’re in our own world. I never have to pretend to be someone I’m not around you, and I’m never scared that you’ll judge me.


Anyways. This is just a short and sweet post to say how much I appreciate our friendship. It’s also an excuse for me to look through old photos and post them on here for everyone to see. I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be if I didn’t have you to help shape me into the person I am now. You already know how I feel about you and our friendship without me having to go too cheesy. I’m so proud of who you are and who you are about to become! Thanks for being my best friend, and also for introducing me to CJ hehe. I love you long time!


💖, B

PS: check out Sandra’s website here to learn more about her!

Fighting Post-Grad Blues | 11:47 PM Update

My entire life, I had this idea in my head that after getting a degree and making my parents proud, life would just be uphill from there on out. It’s been about four months after walking the stage, and I’ve been feeling pretty confused. However, I’ve been reflecting a lot and I wanted to write my thoughts out. Despite how rambly this might be, it might help someone in my situation not feel alone. And it’s good for me to write down my emotions and thought processes so I can look back and see how much I’ve changed. I’ve wanted to become more personal with my blog, so it felt only right to post this.

As I write this, I’m snacking on mini M&M’s in a bath robe, and I have been scrolling through so many job postings, my eyes are starting to burn. I think back to how I felt graduating and walking that stage, and I compare it to how I feel now. Confused, hopeless, honestly a little bit scared. Now I’m not going to discredit all the hard work I put into graduating because I worked my ass off and finished on such a high note! But a bish is going through some post grad blues right now. Reading through the endless lists of qualifications that I don’t meet has me bummed out. I’m not asking for sympathy, because I know that a big reason why I feel the way I do is because I didn’t take advantage of opportunities. At the same time, I was doing things I didn’t want to do to please others, at the expense of my happiness. But I digress (LOL). I realized this is not what I want to be doing. Like am I stupid for thinking that there has to be more to life than working a 9 – 5, coming home, then doing it all over again for the rest of my life? Why can’t I find a job that I love and am passionate about? Why don’t I know what I’m passionate about???

In an ideal world, I want to wake up every day and know that I’m fulfilling my purpose in life. I want to help people, I want to connect with others and I want to be happy and feel limitless. I want to come home exhausted from a job that doesn’t feel like work.  An ideal world doesn’t exist, but who’s to say that I can’t create one for myself? And I want to do it without fear. How many times have you heard people who are older than you say they wish they could go back and do more with their life? Like, no one ever really regrets the things they do. They look back and wish they did more, pursued more, became moreSo much of my life thus far has been ruled by fear, and I don’t want to end up like the people who wish they could go back in time and do what they wanted to do, regardless of how crazy it seemed at the time. Fear has kind of ruined my life, but I’ve allowed it to. At least I’m aware of it now.

And it’s not even about a career either. I want to become the type of person that my younger cousins can look up to and admire because I wasn’t afraid to take risks. I want to be someone that radiates so much positive energy that it’s contagious, even to people I don’t know.

Your brain is your most powerful weapon, but it can also be your downfall. It’s time to get focussed, speak your plans into existence and go out and do it! The two main things that have really helped me thus far have been:

  • Making goal lists: CJ and I made one for a bunch of time periods in our life, and wrote down as many as we could. I found that this really helped me see what I really wanted in life, because a lot of my goals repeated over the years. Doing this helped me envision an imaginary endpoint and helped me sharpen my focus on where I want to be, and how I could get there. And it’s up to me to do whatever I can to reach these goals. I also liked doing this because CJ and I talked about our goals together and how we could help each other achieve them. I think it’s nice knowing someone is on your side, and since we know about each other’s goals, we can help keep each other accountable
    • We made goals for tomorrow, next week, one month from now, six months from now, a year from now, five years from now and ten years from now, but you obviously dont have to do that many. Set a timer for a minute, and just write whatever comes to mind first!
  • Reframing my mindset: I try to see everything as an opportunity, rather than an obstacle. When I dread going to work, I just tell myself that more hours mean more money and more learning opportunities – something I didn’t necessarily have when I was starting out. When I dread exercising, I just keep telling myself that I’m one step closer to achieving my dream body, and by making changes to be healthy now, I will be able to live a long, healthy life and be able to keep up with my future children and be there for them. Rather than letting myself stay in a state of anxiety and stress when I think about my future, I let myself feel those emotions, and then realize that nothing good comes without struggle.
    • This is not to say that the underlying message is “Stay positive!!” because let’s be real, life sucks sometimes. I think this only works when you can accept that life is not perfect and you will never be perfect. Some things are going to suck. And you’re going to hate doing them or going through them but failure is a part of life and you need to accept that in order to be successful.

If you made it this far, then wow. I hope this made sense in one way or another. I feel like a bunch of people are going to read this and roll their eyes, and that’s fine. Like, I get it. Re-reading over some of this has me sounding like an entitled crybaby. Maybe I am… But I just ask that you have a little compassion and realize that the route you are taking to navigate life is not the one I, personally, can or want to take. I might fail. But I might not. And I’ve made leaps and bounds from where I was 5 years ago, and that’s something I want to celebrate because it means that I’m changing and I have the potential to find what out what I want in life. I think I’ve come to the realization that the only way to get out of this “funk” I’m in, is to do everything the opposite of how I’ve been doing it. It makes me uncomfortable, but I’m also feeling confident. To me, that means I have nowhere else to go, but closer to the person I want to become.

To end off, here’s an uncomfortably close up photo of my face. Kinda awkward, but I’m feeling myself and my eyes say “You got this bish!!!”. Nothing worth having comes easy. I know myself, so I know I’ll figure it all out and find my way eventually. Until then, you’re all invited to accompany me along my journey! If you have any tips, or comments you would like to share, please feel free to reach out in  the comments 🙂

💖, B


The Skin I’m In

For as long as I can remember, my peer group has always consisted of mostly Filipinos. Growing up, and even sometimes now,  the one thing that everyone seemed to always point out was our contrasting skin colors. A lot of my friends had lighter skin, and I always heard remarks such as “You’re so dark!” or “How do you get so dark?” as if it was something to be ashamed of. At first, this never really bothered me because it was something that was always said to me (which is the reason we should stop normalizing toxic Flip culture and standards of beauty!!!!!). But eventually, these remarks began affecting my self-esteem and how I saw myself as a person. My skin colour became something I was hyper-aware of. I always felt a bit awkward in the summer months whenever I would be wearing shorts and tanks every day while my friends would be wearing pants, jackets or close toed shoes because they didn’t want to get dark.

The sad thing is, I’m sure my friends don’t mean anything by their comments. And I definitely don’t hold it against them! The thing is, this is something that’s almost like common sense in Filipino culture. Whiter = better. This belief isn’t a problem exclusive to Filipinos, as I know many southeast Asian cultures promote the same thing. It’s just crazy to, me that in this day and age, someone’s worth and someone’s beauty can all be boiled down to the colour of their skin… It’s not okay!!!!

Besides the women in my family, I never had a role model that looked like me. Even when I turn to Filipina or Asian celebrities that I look up to, I can’t think of one person who had darker skin. It’s unfortunate. But I think things are looking up for the upcoming generation. I’m seeing so much more movements on social media and print that are helping empower the underrepresented women (see #MagandangMorenx, or @from.label on Instagram – a label started by one of my favourite Instagrammers, Jeanne Grey!). I think exposure to these types of movements is so crucial, because as Jeanne Grey says herself, no one is really talking about these things. Unfair expectations of beauty may be something we think about, but not many people take action to make a change because these expectations have been engrained in us for generations.

As I get older, I am understanding how important representation is. For this reason, I hope to always stick up for those affected by these standards of beauty, and become an advocate for all my sunkissed sistahs and bruthas out there. No matter what, people will be stuck in their ways and still believe that darker skin is less beautiful. And that’s okay. I’m not here to change that (although I would like to!). I love talking about makeup and beauty products, but I’ve come to realize that this issue really means something to me and it’s a topic I need to speak up and out about. I will continue to use my platform to help my fellow morenas see the beauty in our complexion. Brown is beautiful, and not something to be ashamed of. I haven’t always loved my skin colour, but I do now. I love the way gold jewellery looks on me, and I think bright colours look stunning on me. And I always get a kick out of the fact that white people are envious of my “year round tan”.

So just know that you are not alone. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it also just take one person to start change! Let’s bask in the beauty that is our brown skin, and not be ashamed of it. Let’s use our voices to help build confidence in those who haven’t found it yet. Also, let’s all be more aware of the words we use when talking to other people. Don’t make remarks about someone’s appearance if what you are commenting on can’t be changed in ten seconds. Words have weight, so use them to uplift others rather than dragging them down. If you have any stories or experiences with me, I would love to hear them!

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“When you love yourself, literally nothing anyone says about you can affect you. You know who you are, you love who you are, and that is enough.”

💖, B