Hi everyone! CJ and I celebrated our 4th anniversary recently, and I naturally, being the self-reflecting, inquisitive mind that I am, spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship and how we got to where we are today. Being in a relationship with CJ has been one of the most fun, meaningful and eye-opening things that I have experienced in my life. Relationships aren’t perfect, and I’d be lying if I said ours was, but honestly… I really feel like I have the perfect relationship with him.
First and foremost, I think our relationship is so great mainly because of who we are as individuals. We are both confident in ourselves. Which translates to so much when being in a relationship (at least to me). Coming into a relationship being sure of yourself, knowing who you are, knowing what you deserve and knowing that you are a whole person, not a half waiting to be completed by someone else, enables you to love deeply and fully because you don’t need that other person’s love to survive. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s like I love myself SOOOO much, and even if CJ happened to stop loving me, I’ll be okay because I love me. The fact that we both understand that about ourselves makes our love so much more meaningful because we know that we are choosing each other every day. We don’t need each other, but we keep fighting for and loving each other because we can and because we want to. We hold each other to high standards, because we know that is what we both deserve. Being confident in ourselves also means being able to drop any walls we hide behind, and we can be completely open and vulnerable with each other without the fear of judgement or criticism. This paragraph is basically just the long way of saying “If you can’t love yoself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” (can I get an AMEN).
Can I also just say this is the reason why you will NEVER catch us fighting about stupid, immature shit ie: liking another girl/guy’s IG picture. I could go onnnnnn about this topic, but if you’re getting mad at your s/o for liking pictures on social media, that’s not on them, that’s a you problem… Love yourself lol. *end rant*
I think another “secret” to our strong relationship is open and honest communication. CJ and I have the same values and views of the world, but we have VERY different personalities, which naturally leads to some arguments/disagreements. Regardless, I can talk to CJ about anything, no matter how silly, difficult or uncomfortable it might be, and I know that he always listens with open ears. We aren’t mind readers, and the only way for you to be happy is to voice your concerns or compliments to your s/o. Even when we disagree on certain things, we both still feel heard, and are (at the very least) aware of how the other person feels. At the end of the day, we’re a team and we’ve both learned that it’s in our best interest to just listen to each other and try our best to understand. It’s gotten us this far, so I have to conclude that really talking and listening to each other just works.
And to be honest, I think one of my absolute favourite aspects of our relationship is that we genuinely just have so much fun together. I really could not imagine dating someone who isn’t funny (not that I will ever get the chance to because CJV + BMB 4EVER), and CJ makes me laugh every. damn. day. Sharing the same sense of humour and laughing together is my favourite thing ever, and it’s one of the things that initially had me attracted to him four years ago LOL. We could laugh for 10 minutes straight over memes, or the fact that we keep building upon a joke and don’t know when to stop. I love the feeling of us just being in our own world, laughing about our stupid insiders and cracking jokes with each other, no matter the time or place. We really be the crackheads of every group we’re in.
Anyways, I don’t want to sound too preachy because this isn’t meant to be one of those “x # of ways to have the perfect relationship!!!” type of posts. I’ve never really been the type of person who publicizes every part of my relationship, and for the most part, I feel like CJ and I are pretty lowkey. But I just really wanted to write this because I want to give a big shoutout to CJ – my homieloverfriend. My person. He constantly challenges me in every way possible, and always celebrates my wins. He listens to me whine about life, but will quickly bring me back down to earth and call me on my bullshit. He cracks me up like no one else, he lets me be my weird self, he never fails to let me know that I’m loved and appreciated. Y’all, when I tell you this list can go on and onnnnnn… He just gets me. Thank you babe for building this beautiful relationship with me, growing along side me and letting me into your life, allowing me to see a side of you that no one gets to see. I cherish all the countless laughs, insiders, arguments, bad remixes, and memories we have made. Through the ups and the rare downs, there is no one I would rather be on this crazy journey of life with. I love you so much!
If you don’t already, be sure to follow my mans on Instagram and Mixcloud (it’s been a minute since he made his last mix, but maybe an influx of followers will motivate him even more to get back in his grind). I hope you all get to give and receive the kind of love I have for CJ. I swear, it’s life changing and really makes you a better person.