“Tell me about yourself.”
For some reason I have always dreaded being asked this question. Which is stupid, because it’s the one question that every person should have the answer to. 24 years on this earth, and all that ever seems to leave my mouth is “Ummmm, well…. My name is Brittney.”
Who am I? Beyond other people’s ideas of who I am… Beyond the person I show to others… Who am I? I feel like I have hidden behind labels or roles, using them to define who I am (“I am a student”, “I am a woman”, “I’m a Canadian citizen” etc.), maybe to avoid the fact that I haven’t quite figured it out yet. Although, I realize it is silly of me to expect myself to be able to sum up who I am in one sentence.
Anyways, I’ve realized that I really need to take time to discover who I am, and what makes me, me. I’ve always hated making New Years Resolutions, and I always rolled my eyes when people say things like “I hope this year is good to me”, because I know that the deciding factor to whether or not you follow through with your resolutions, or the cause of having a good year is yourself. BUT. I really want to use this year to dive deeper into myself, and find out who I want to be, and become the person I want to become.
One thing I would really like to explore is my Filipino heritage, and learning more about the Philippines, and it’s history. I was born and raised in Canada, English is my first language and I don’t understand much Tagalog. I’m as whitewashed as they come. Most of what I know from the Philippines was passed down from my mom, and even then, most of her stories are about struggle and hardships, and are tainted with bias because of the fact that she doesn’t ever want to go back (DISCLAIMER: I’m not trying to drag my mom, and I don’t mean to take away from her experiences. I know that’s all the memories she has of the Philippines, but she did spend her teen years and the rest of her adult life here, so I never got to learn much about the beauty of the country or the culture from her). I would really like to learn more about the Philippines, and understand my roots better.
And mostly, I just want to learn more about myself. By doing what feels right, acting in the pursuit of self-interest, and being as fearlessly me as possible. A quote that has been resonating through my mind as of late is “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” I’m going to be unapologetically myself, because it’s what I owe to myself, and I don’t need to ask for permission, or think about others in the process (K, that sounds really intense. Like I’m not trying to be a selfish bitch, but I’m just trying to get at the point that I’m going to stop looking to others for approval or permission to do what I want to do.) (Life is too short to not do what you want to do. Basically.)
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and although this blog is called ALittleBrittOfEverything, I’ve realized that my own self-development and discovery has become way more interesting, fun and easier to write about than MOTD and Review posts. Not to say that I’m going to stop writing about these things, because I’m not, but you will be seeing a lot more personal posts. I’m growing and changing as a person, and my interests reflect that. I really want this to become a tool used for documenting my journey and statistically speaking, my readers are way more interested in personal posts than in beauty related posts. (AKA I see that y’all are nosy, but I’m not judging because I’m putting this all out there, and I’m like that myself 😉 LOL). Even if only one person takes something away from what I write, that’s enough gratification for me.
I want to take this time to thank you all for sticking with me throughout my blogging journey. I genuinely get so flustered when you compliment my posts, or ask about how I’m doing, or just talk about my blog in general. It lets me know that I’m on the right track, and that I will always have people supporting something that I love doing, and that sparks joy in my life (where my fellow KonMari fans at?!) I’ve come far from where I was when I started, and I still have so long to go. Happy New Year everyone!
I’m going to leave this selfie here because why the heck not.
P.S. And for those who still care, Vlogmas Week 4 will be up!!! I don’t know when, but it will!!! mark my words!!!